Are you looking for some kid-friendly Christmas jokes to get the whole family laughing?
This list of the best Christmas jokes has 150 crackers to make everyone smile, and gives you lots of material for some fun family time together.
There are Christmas cracker jokes, Santa jokes, elf jokes, reindeer jokes, snowman jokes, Christmas tree jokes, Christmas knock knock jokes, and short Christmas jokes to enjoy. We’ve also included some funny Christmas puns and Christmas dad jokes if you want something really cheesy!
The best family-friendly Christmas jokes and Christmas puns
This bumper selection of Christmas puns and corny Christmas jokes for kids (and big kids) is perfect for raising a giggle with family and friends over the festive season. As well as being a great way to keep everyone in a good mood, you can also use them in DIY advent calendars, homemade Christmas crackers, or table settings.
Funny Christmas jokes for kids
Let’s kick off the festivities with some classic Christmas jokes for kids.
Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks.
What’s red and white, red and white, red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells.
Where would you find chilli beans? At the North Pole.
What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
Why were the reindeer still in the barn when they were supposed to be with Santa? They were stalling.
Why do people love Frosty the Snowman? Because he’s the coolest.
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? Aren’t you tired of just hanging around?
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’? A Mistle-toad.
Who leads Santa’s sleigh underwater? Ru-Dolphin.
What do donkeys send out at Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.
What do gingerbread men use when they hurt their legs? Candy canes.
These brrr-illiant snowman jokes will raise lots of frosty smiles.
What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the snowman say to the other snowman? You’re cool.
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers. (more ice puns here)
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
What does a snowman like to put on his icebergers? Chilly sauce.
What is a girl snowman called? A snow-ma’am.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
Why did the snowmen get dressed up for the party? It was a snowball.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Wheats.
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out.
What is Frosty the Snowman’s favourite cereal? Ice Crispies.
What do you call a snowman that’s past its prime? Water.
Christmas puns come in very handy for your instagram and TikTok posts – here are our favourite silly Christmas captions.
I told you snow
Treat your elf
Your decorations look tree-mendous
Hold on for deer life
A round of Santa-plause
That’s a wrap
Yule be sorry
Raise a mistle-toast
Have a be-yule-tiful Christmas
Christmas is always a Claus for celebration
You snow the drill
Icy what you did there
Stocking up on our favourite holiday treats
How rude-olf you
No need to Claus a scene
It’s snow joke
Celebrate the big man himself with these kid-friendly Santa jokes.
Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker.
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards.
Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital? Because he has private elf care.
What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door.
How many presents can Father Christmas fit in an empty sack? Only one – after that it’s not empty anymore.
What do you call Father Christmas when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down? The abominable towman.
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
What did Santa say to his elves? Here’s a mistle-token of my appreciation.
Why was there a ticket on Santa’s sleigh? He was in a snow parking zone.
Elf yourself to a helping of funny elf jokes!
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.
What is an elf’s favourite car? A Toy-ota.
Where did the elf go to school? He was elf-taught.
What do you call an elf dancing with earmuffs on? Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf.
What did the teacher say to her elves? Line up in jingle file.
Why did the elves fall in love? They had great chemis-tree.
What did Santa say to the rowdy elf? Please don’t Claus a scene.
Why did the elf have a lot of friends? Because she had high elf-esteem.
What did Santa say when his elves hid the toys? This is snow laughing matter.
Why wouldn’t the elf share his toys? Because he was elfish.
What did the elf use when he broke his leg? Candy canes.
Christmas cracker jokes
If you’re making your own crackers, here are some perfect Christmas cracker jokes to pop in them.
What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
What’s the first thing elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.
How does Frosty the Snowman get around the neighbourhood? On his ice-icle.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
Which Christmas carol do parents like the most? Silent Night.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with him.
Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
Short Christmas jokes for kids
These short kids Christmas jokes are brilliant when you want to keep things simple.
What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.
What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells.
What do little shark kids call Father Christmas? Santa Jaws.
Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper. (more Winter jokes for kids here)
What’s an elf’s favourite music? Wrap music.
Who’s the cheekiest reindeer? Rude-olph.
What do elves do after school? Their gnome work.
What was the Christmas tree’s favourite shape? A treeangle.
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you.
How about a sleigh-full of reindeer jokes for Christmas Eve?
How do you get into a reindeer’s house? Ring the deer-bell.
What is Rudolph’s favourite day of the year? Red Nose Day.
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rain, dear.
What do reindeer use to communicate? The antlernet.
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer? Nothing, it’s on the house.
What do reindeer say to their kids? I love you deerly.
What’s a reindeer’s favourite game? Stable tennis.
Why did the red nosed reindeer help the old lady cross the road? It would have been Rudolf him not to.
What do you call a blind reindeer? No-eye-deer.
What game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
Christmas tree jokes
These Christmas tree jokes will definitely lift the mood when you’re untangling those lights! (You might find my guide to choosing a real Christmas tree helpful too).
What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow.
Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets? They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the presents beneath them.
How many Christmas trees can you plant in an empty field? One, because then the field isn’t empty anymore.
Why are Christmas trees more noticeable at Christmas? They have more presence.
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pine-apple.
How can you distinguish a Christmas tree from a dog? By its bark.
What did the Christmas tree wear to stay warm? A fir cloak.
Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school? So it could spruce up the forest.
How is a Christmas tree like a bad seamstress? They both drop needles.
What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Swimming trunks.
Christmas knock knock jokes
We couldn’t have a list of funny Christmas jokes for kids without some knock-knock jokes!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use, I’ve forgotten my name again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery Merry Christmas to you!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska Santa for a new bike!
Knock Knock. Who’s There? Santa. Santa who? Santa gift in the mail. Did you get it yet?
Knock Knock. Who’s There? Snow. Snow who? Snow what day it is? Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Believe. Believe who? Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Get to sleep so that Santa can come!
Knock Knock. Who’s There? Donut. Donut who? Donut open before Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa on his sleigh!
Knock Knock. Who’s There? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Census. Census who? Census some presents this Christmas!
Family Christmas jokes
Still hungry for more? These Christmas jokes for kids and family will give everyone the giggles.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places.
What do sheep say to each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to ewe.
Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
How did Mr. and Mrs. Claus fall in love? It was love at frost sight.
What is white, has sharp teeth and tastes minty? A polo bear.
How do elves get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? They use the elfator.
Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? Santa Claws.
Why is a foot a good Christmas present? Because it makes a good stocking filler.
Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin? Cinder-elf-a.
How did Santa describe the elf who refused to take a bath? He’s elfully smelly.
Christmas dad jokes
Last but not least, some cheesy Christmas dad jokes that everyone will love to hate!
Why is it chilly on Christmas morning? Because it’s Decembrrrrr.
What happened when the vampire bit the snowman? He got frostbite.
Why is it so hard to find an advent calendar? Because its days are numbered.
How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
What is the Christmas carol that you can sing to fruits? Have yourself a berry little Christmas.
Did you know that Rudolph never went to school? He was elf-taught.
Why was the conversation awkward? There was an elf-ant in the room.
Where do the elves go to the toilet in the north pole? The igloo.
Why don’t penguins fly? Because they’re too short to be pilots.
What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop? Rain-deer.
What did Rudolph have to say about a big book of noses that Santa gifted him? He said I already red that one.
What’s the best Christmas gift for someone who has everything? A burglar alarm.
Have these Christmas puns and Christmas jokes for kids made you smile?
We hope you’ve had fun with this list of family-friendly Christmas jokes and Christmas puns, and that they come in handy for your festive celebrations. Make sure you tell us your favourite funny Christmas joke in the comments if it isn’t on our list 🎅🎄🎁
More jokes for kids
We’ve got lots more great roundups of jokes for kids to explore.
For autumn, take your pick from Halloween jokes for kids, skull puns, fall puns and pumpkin jokes, in spring there are spring puns and Easter jokes for kids to enjoy, and our summer jokes are perfect for lazy days.
You might also like to check out my book *A Year of Nature Craft and Play, which is packed with nature-themed fun for kids.
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Pin for later: 150 Christmas jokes for kids
Author: Sam Hughes