A new mum’s guide to practising self-love without feeling guilty

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Self-care and motherhood seldom align, especially for new mums facing a whirlwind of emotions, adjustments, and responsibilities. While you experience the joy of welcoming a new baby, looking after your own needs can take a backseat.

Even worse, a study in the UK found that mothers often feel guilty for partaking in self-care activities. Little things like soaking in a bath or planning a coffee date with a friend are great ways for new mums to take care of themselves, but can easily fall down the priority list.

Not surprisingly, research shows that more than one in ten new mums struggle with postpartum depression. This is perhaps the most drastic impact of missing out on self-care. Less serious concerns include unhealthy eating, skipping meals, weight gain, and anxiety, all of which can lead to loss of body confidence and mental resilience.

Fortunately, there are ways for new mums to practise self-love without suffering from guilt. In this article, we’ll share a few tips to make early-stage parenting easier with self-care and compassion.

Embrace imperfection

Aiming to be a perfect mum is an unachievable ideal. Remember that making mistakes is normal when you step into the parental role as a beginner, and it’s also normal later on when you’ve gained experience.  

Besides accepting childcare mistakes and learning from them, you should also try to make peace with the changes in your body. You may not fit into your pre-pregnancy clothing for a while, so be open to loving yourself the way you are. Likewise, your lifestyle will probably change as you may no longer have as much time for hobbies and leisure activities.

However, you can gradually find ways to get the best of both worlds without feeling guilty. For example, you can hire a babysitter to look after your baby for an evening to plan a romantic date night with your partner.

Celebrate your achievements

Bringing a baby into the world is an amazing achievement, and appreciating this fact is a great way of practising self-love. For example, you could treat yourself with a gift to commemorate the occasion. Jewellery is a popular choice here, and you can explore custom designs in jewellery to make the occasion memorable.

Leibish notes that you can design your own ring, or whatever piece of jewellery you want to invest in. You could look for a design with your baby’s initial or the day you started your journey to motherhood, or buy a piece that features your baby’s birthstone. A designer can suggest more ideas.

Acknowledge your accomplishments as you go, no matter how small they may seem. Give yourself credit for everything, whether it is soothing your baby or managing to get some rest. At times, positive self-talk is the best way to shower some guilt-free love on yourself.

Set boundaries

A McKinsey survey found that 47% of mums of young children felt burned out often or almost all the time. Missing out on self-love can make you a part of these statistics. Healthy boundaries can be your saviours as a new mother.

Although motherhood is a full-time commitment to doing the best for your baby, it is not about overlooking your needs. Setting boundaries may sound selfish, but healthy boundaries don’t keep you from looking after your baby.

Try to say no to commitments that drain your energy, and avoid activities you cannot handle. You may need to communicate your needs to your partner, family, and friends. Ensure they know when you need assistance or time alone. At this point, you should not hesitate to seek support from your loved ones. 

Prioritise self-care

The 2023 State of Motherhood survey found that 58% of mums are primarily responsible for household duties and caring for kids. As well as being a new mum you could also be in the middle of the storm with other kids and chores to take care of. Committing to self-care amid the chaos may sound challenging, but it can be a lifesaver.

Schedule regular self-care activities by using every moment you can spare. It could be a short nap while the baby is asleep, or a quick walk when your partner is ready to handle childcare. Even a few minutes of meditation when the baby is settled can do wonders. Regular breaks are a form of self-love; remember that you shouldn’t feel guilty about these small steps.

In conclusion, practising self-love is a survival hack for new mums as it can boost physical health and emotional well-being. However, guilt can keep you from adopting it as a part of your routine. Try incorporating a few of these tips to make self-love a guilt-free commitment during those precious early days with your newborn.