If you’re looking for a bit of light-hearted Halloween fun, these family-friendly pumpkin jokes and great pumpkin puns are wickedly funny!
Whether you’re after pumpkin patch puns, pumpkin pie jokes, pumpkin spice puns, funny pumpkin puns, or pumpkin dad jokes, you’ll find plenty to make you smile in this roundup. There are 63 of the best pumpkin puns and pumpkin jokes to get your teeth into 🎃
As well as providing a good laugh, cute pumpkin puns and pumpkin jokes are perfect caption inspiration for when you’re sharing your Halloween and jack o’ lantern pictures on social media, or sending a Halloween card. You can use them in texts and emails too.
Fun facts about pumpkins
Here’s a few fun facts about pumpkins to get us started.
- The name pumpkin comes from the Greek word ‘pepon’, meaning ‘large melon’.
- The original jack o’ lanterns were carved from turnips and potatoes.
- A pumpkin contains around 500 seeds.
- Pumpkins are grown on every continent except Antarctica.
- The US produces over 1.5 billion pounds of pumpkin each year.
- Pumpkins are 80-90% water.
- The world record weight for the heaviest pumpkin is 2,624 pounds!
Funny pumpkin jokes for kids
Jokes about pumpkins are certainly in plentiful supply. Here’s a selection of my favourite family-friendly pumpkin jokes for kids to add a touch of silliness to your Halloween celebrations.
Who helps little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
What’s a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.
Where do pumpkins hold their meetings? The gourd room.
What happens if you eat too much pumpkin? You get autumn’y ache.
What do you get if you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference? Pumpkin pi.
Why does Cinderella always lose at tennis? Because her coach is a pumpkin.
What do you call a barking pumpkin? A gourd dog.
What do you call a chubby Jack o ‘lantern? A plumpkin.
Why was the jack o’ lantern afraid to cross the road? It had no guts.
Pumpkin dad jokes
This batch of jack o’ lantern jokes are worthy of the title ‘pumpkin dad jokes’ – they’re all very corny 😉
What did the queasy pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
How do you fix a broken jack o’ lantern? Use pumpkin patches.
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.
Why are jack o’ lanterns so forgetful? Because they’re empty-headed.
What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone.
What type of books do pumpkins like? Pulp fiction.
Why do pumpkins sit outside people’s houses? They have no hands to knock on the door.
What are gourds afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice scream every time I see a scary pumpkin!
More silly pumpkin jokes and clever pumpkin puns
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out.
How does a pumpkin listen to music? On vine-yl.
What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin carver? Oh my Gourd!
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
What do you get when you drop a broken pumpkin? Squash.
What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
Why did the man slip on the pumpkin? It caught him off gourd.
What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
Why don’t pumpkins like scary movies? Because they have no guts.
How do pumpkins talk to ghosts? They use a ouija gourd.
How do pumpkins greet each other? Happy Hollowing!
Pumpkin puns for instagram – or just a giggle
Looking for funny pumpkin puns for an instagram caption? Here are some of my faves.
Life is gourd
Give them pumpkin to talk about
Gourd big or go home
Carving out Halloween fun
Let’s get the party pumpkin
Oh my gourd-ness
I don’t feel so gourd
Orange you pumped for Halloween?
Pumpkin iron at the gym
You’re the pick of the patch
Have a gourd time
More jack o’ lantern puns
You don’t know jack o’ lantern
Gourd vibes only
Ahead of the carve
For the love of gourd
Nothing but gourd intentions
Don’t be a jerk o’ lantern
Let the gourd times roll
The pumpkin pie of the beholder
Hollow, anyone there?
That really struck a gourd with me
Gourd out of my mind
Pumpkin spice puns
How about a silly pumpkin pun to go with your pumpkin spice latte?
Pumpkin spice and everything nice
Let’s pumpkin spice things up
It’s pumpkin spice season – better latte than never
This is a gourd-geous pumpkin spice latte
I love pumpkin spice a latte
Pumpkin spice up your life
Sorry I’m latte – I had to get my pumpkin spice
Pumpkin spice, spice, baby
Have you found your favourite Halloween pumpkin puns?
I hope these pumpkin jokes and pumpkin puns have made you smile. Make sure you share your favourite pumpkin joke or the perfect pumpkin pun alongside your funniest pumpkin pictures this Halloween!
More funny jokes and puns
If you’d like some more giggles, now’s the perfect time to check out my other jokes and crafty puns roundups:
I’ve also written posts on garden quotes, tree quotes, flower quotes, nature captions and nature quotes, quotes about sunflowers, waterfall quotes and autumn quotes which have lots of inspiring sayings about plants, flowers, gardening and nature.
More Halloween fun
If you’d like to add some crafting into the Halloween fun, there are some lovely simple ideas here. I’ve also got a lovely pumpkin fairy house craft that’s perfect for Halloween and fall season in general, and a roundup of autumn nature crafts and nature play ideas.
If you’re holding an epic Halloween party you want to remember for years, take as many pictures as you can. Use these photos to make a Halloween slideshow and capture the spooky season atmosphere: marvellous costumes, creepy decorations, and autumn season vibes. Such a video will always be fun to rewatch – why not make it a cool family tradition?
Don’t forget the big list of Halloween puns too 👻
And finally, for more nature-inspired fun with the kids, check out my books *A Year of Nature Craft and Play and *A Year of Nature Walks and Games. They’re both filled with fun crafts, walking games, and outdoor play activities that inspire kids to stay active and explore the amazing natural world. There are 52 budget-friendly nature play activities, one for every week of the year, all with easy-to-follow instructions and colourful photos.