If you’re looking for a bit of light-hearted Halloween fun, these pumpkin jokes and pumpkin puns are wickedly funny!
As well as providing a giggle, pumpkin puns and pumpkin jokes are perfect caption inspiration for when you’re sharing your Halloween and jack-o-lantern pictures on social media. You can use them in texts and emails too!
Fun facts about pumpkins
Here’s a few fun facts about pumpkins to get us started.
- The name pumpkin comes from the Greek word ‘pepon’, meaning ‘large melon’.
- The original jack-o-lanterns were carved from turnips and potatoes.
- A pumpkin contains around 500 seeds.
- Pumpkins are grown on every continent except Antarctica.
- The US produces over 1.5 billion pounds of pumpkin each year.
- Pumpkins are 80-90% water.
- The world record weight for the heaviest pumpkin is 2,624 pounds!
Pumpkin jokes are certainly in plentiful supply. I’m sharing my favourite family-friendly jokes about pumpkins here, you can also find lots more at Punstoppable.
Who helps little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
What’s a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.
Where do pumpkins hold their meetings? The gourd room.
What happens if you eat too much pumpkin? You get autumn-y ache.
What do you get if you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference? Pumpkin pi.
Why does Cinderella always lose at tennis? Because her coach is a pumpkin.
What do you call a barking pumpkin? A gourd dog.
Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? It had no guts.
What do you call a chubby Jack-o-Lantern? A plumpkin.
What did the queasy pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? Use a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.
What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone.
Why do pumpkins sit outside people’s houses? They have no hands to knock on the door.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Why are jack-o-lanterns so forgetful? Because they’re empty-headed.
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out.
What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin carver? Oh my Gourd!
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
What do you call a sporty pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
How do pumpkins greet each other? Happy Hollowing!
Life is gourd
Give them pumpkin to talk about
Carving out Halloween fun
Oh my gourd-ness
You don’t know jack-o-lantern
Ahead of the carve
Orange you pumped for Halloween?
Nothing but gourd intentions
Hollow, anyone there?
Have a gourd time
Pumpkin iron at the gym
That really struck a gourd with me
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern
Gourd vibes only
Let’s pumpkin spice things up
Gourd out of my mind
You’re the pick of the patch
I hope these pumpkin jokes and pumpkin puns have made you smile. Which one is your favourite?
More funny jokes and puns
If you’d like some more giggles, check out my other jokes and puns posts:
I’ve also written a post about garden quotes which has lots of inspiring sayings about plants, flowers and gardening.
You might also like to take a look at my fun post on making spooky spider plants – it’s a great Halloween craft to do with the kids!