Are you looking for some light-hearted fun with a fruity theme? These fruit puns and fruit jokes are just pear-fect!
Whether you’re after a fruity caption, or just want to add a funny fruit pun into the conversation, there’s something here to put a smile on your face.
I’ve rounded up lots of family-friendly fruit jokes and fruit puns to get you giggling. They’re great for your fruit themed pictures, greetings cards, text messages and lunchbox notes too.
Be warned: they’re all rather silly 😉
Pear-fect fruit puns
Let’s start off with some great fruit puns to make your mouth water.
Squeeze the day
A fruitful discussion
Draw the lime
Get juiced to it
Grow a pear
Pit of despair
No fig deal
Let it mango
A few banana puns to get your peel-ing giggly!
Thanks a bunch
I’m not peeling well
It’s very a-peel-ing
Pick of the bunch
Need the pear-fect fruit pun? Here you go:
A fresh pear of eyes
Neither here nor pear
We make a great pear
These fruit puns are just peachy 😉
A peach of my heart
Practice what you peach
Made for peach other
I ap-peach-iate it
Make everyone apple-y with these apple gags.
I apple-solutely understand
Sit down be-cider
Apple-y ever after
The apple of my pie
Lose your rind with these cute melon puns.
Feeling a little melon-choly
Honeydew you know how much I love you?
One in a melon
Don’t be melon-dramatic
These fruit puns are cherry silly…
I cherry-ish you
Thank you cherry much
Eat, drink and be cherry
You’re cherry sweet
Here’s a whole bunch of grape gags to enjoy!
Going to grape lengths
You should be grape-ful
You did a grape job
Berry funny fruit puns
Put a sunny smile on someone’s face with these summer fruit puns.
Right before my berry eyes
Respect your elderberries
I love you berry much
More cute fruit puns
You hold the kiwi to my heart
I don’t guava clue
I love you from my head tomatoes
I haven’t met him in persimmon
Orange you glad to see me?
Olive you so much
Berry funny fruit jokes
Still hungry for more fruity funnies? Check out these family-friendly fruit jokes.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers.
How do you make a strawberry shake? Put it in the freezer.
What does a pear tree do before growing fruit? It pre-pears.
Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 apples? Because that would be a pie.
What do you call a bunch of strawberries playing instruments? A jam session.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Because their skin peels.
Which fruit loves going down slides? A ki-wheeeee.
What did the fruit say at his surprise birthday party? “Wow, I’m s-peach-less!”
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a fruit? A baaa-nana.
What’s Dracula’s favourite fruit? Neck-tarine.
Why did the apples get divorced? They weren’t a very good pear.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
What happens when you step on grapes? They wine.
Where do baby fruits sleep? In apri-cots.
What did the lime say to the lemon? Sour you doing?
Why should you teach kids about dried fruits? Because then you’ll be raisin awareness.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? “You’re one in a melon.”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
What’s a banana’s favourite gymnastics move? The splits.
Why are grapes never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches.
What happens when a cactus falls in love with a fruit tree? They make a prickly pear.
Which fruit likes to tease? Ba-na-na-na-na-na!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call the time in between eating lots of peaches? A pit-stop.
What’s the most fruity school subject? History – it’s full of dates.
Did you hear about the fire at the dried fruit factory? It was an apricot-astrophe.
Which fruit is always sad? A blue-berry.
What do you call a trumpet-playing apple? A tooty-fruity.
I had my first date last night. It’s a very underrated fruit.
What kind of fruit will fix your sink? A plum-ber.
Which is the grumpiest fruit? A crab apple.
What do you call a vanishing fruit? A disap-pear.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa.
If there are three oranges and four apples in your hand, what do you have? Very large hands.
What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-Aid.
Why are oranges the fastest fruit? They never run out of juice.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with apple pie? Pineapple pie.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
What do you get when you cross fruit with an acrobat? An apple turnover.
What does a pear tree do before growing fruit? It pre-pears.
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato when he was falling behind on their walk? “Ketchup!”
What does a lemon say when it wants a hug? “Give us a squeeze!“
I got hit in the back by a piece of fruit. It was a spineapple.
What kind of fruit grows on a calendar? Dates.
How do you make a fruit punch? Give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Why did the banana visit the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the tomato go to the ball with a kiwi? Because he couldn’t find a date.
Why do oranges do well in school? They concentrate.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite fruit? Ape-ricots.
What do you call a piece of art made by a fruit? A masterpeach.
What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit? A blood orange.
Why are grapes so unhappy? Because they have plenty to wine about.
What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit? Pear pressure.
What happens when you step on an orange? You hurt its peelings.
What happens when you photocopy fruit? You get a paper jam.
What do you call bad fruit and veg? Gross-eries.
Why are bananas so popular? Because they have a-peel.
When do you go at red and stop at green? When you’re eating a watermelon.
Which fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
What is a ghost’s favourite fruit? Boo-berries.
What happens when citrus fruits work overtime? They get lime and a half.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.
More funny jokes and puns
For more fun jokes and puns, head over to these posts:
You can also check out my posts on garden quotes, flower quotes, tree quotes, quotes about sunflowers, nature quotes and nature captions, and waterfall quotes for lots of inspiring sayings about plants, flowers, gardening and nature. I’ve also got an article listing the best nature hashtags that will help you share your posts far and wide on social media.
And you might enjoy this short video featuring some funny fruit jokes:
Finally, there’s a good list of kids’ favourite jokes in general over at the BBC.
More fruity inspiration
For more fruity inspiration you might like to take a look at these posts:
Have these fruit puns and fruit jokes put a smile on your face? Which is your favourite?