Are you looking for some light-hearted fun with a fruity theme? These fruit puns and fruit jokes are just pear-fect!
Whether you’re after a fruity caption, or just want to add a funny fruit pun into the conversation, there’s something here to put a smile on your face.
I’ve rounded up lots of family-friendly fruit jokes and fruit puns to get you giggling. They’re great for your fruit themed pictures, greetings cards, text messages and lunchbox notes too.
Be warned: they’re all rather silly 😉
Pear-fect fruit puns
Squeeze the day
A fruitful discussion
Draw the lime
Get juiced to it
Pit of despair
No fig deal
Let it mango
Thanks a bunch
I’m not peeling well
It’s very a-peel-ing
Pick of the bunch
A fresh pear of eyes
Neither here nor pear
We make a great pear
A peach of my heart
Practice what you peach
Made for peach other
I ap-peach-iate it
I apple-solutely understand
Sit down be-cider
Apple-y ever after
The apple of my pie
One in a melon
Feeling a little melon-choly
Honeydew you know how much I love you?
Don’t be melon-dramatic
I cherry-ish you
Thank you cherry much
Eat, drink and be cherry
You’re cherry sweet
Going to grape lengths
You should be grape-ful
You did a grape job
Berry fruit puns
Right before my berry eyes
Respect your elderberries
I love you berry much
More fruit puns
You hold the kiwi to my heart
I don’t guava clue
I love you from my head tomatoes
I haven’t met him in persimmon
Orange you glad to see me?
Olive you so much
Berry funny fruit jokes
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers.
How do you make a strawberry shake? Put it in the freezer.
What does a pear tree do before growing fruit? It pre-pears.
Which fruit loves going down slides? A ki-wheeeee.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a fruit? A baaa-nana.
What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit? Neck-tarine.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
What happens when you step on grapes? They wine.
Where do baby fruits sleep? In apri-cots.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
What’s a banana’s favourite gymnastics move? The splits.
Why are grapes never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches.
Which fruit likes to tease? Ba-na-na-na-na-na!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What’s the most fruity school subject? History – it’s full of dates.
Which is the grumpiest fruit? A crab apple.
What do you call a vanishing fruit? A disap-pear.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa.
If there are three oranges and four apples in your hand, what do you have? Very large hands.
What happens when citrus fruits work overtime? They get lime and a half.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.
I got hit in the back by a piece of fruit. It was a spineapple.
What kind of fruit grows on a calendar? Dates.
How do you make a fruit punch? Give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Why did the banana visit the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
What happens when you photocopy fruit? You get a paper jam.
Which fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
More funny jokes and puns
For more fun jokes and puns, head over to these posts:
You can also check out my garden quotes post for lots of inspiring sayings about plants, flowers and gardening.
And you might enjoy this short video featuring some funny fruit jokes:
Punpedia has lots more puns and some fun images for fruit puns too.
Finally, there’s a good list of kids’ favourite jokes in general over at the BBC.
More fruity inspiration
For more fruity inspiration you might like to take a look at these posts:
Have these fruit puns and fruit jokes put a smile on your face? Which is your favourite?