If you’re looking for a bit of light-hearted fun with a garden theme, read on! I’ve rounded up lots of garden puns and garden jokes to make you smile.
As well as providing a giggle, these garden puns and garden jokes are also funny caption inspiration for when you’re sharing pictures of your garden, plants or flowers on social media. Pass them onto your green-fingered friends too!
There are so many garden puns! I’ve picked my favourite funny gardening puns here, but you can find literally hundreds over at Punpedia.
Ants in your plants
All dressed up and nowhere to grow
Herb your enthusiasm
Don’t stop the beetroot
Your good seed for the day
Eat, drink and be rosemary
All things must grass
Cutting it vine
You parsley the test
Get a twiggle on
Seed between the lines
Your good weed for the day
Just the thicket
Peas and quiet
Don’t moss around
Never a dill moment
A day in the leaf
Flower of strength
That’s a bit mulch
Berry the hatchet
Turnip the volume
In the eyes of the lawn
All clover the world
Just one of rose things
Soil of the century
Trowel and error
As far as the cacti can see
Turf the net
One trick peony
In on the ground flora
I beg your garden?
One more thyme
Garden jokes to make you smile
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
What’s a gardener’s favourite Beatles song? Lettuce Be.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
What’s small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish.
Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce? He’s more of a Rocket Man.
What’s a gardener’s favourite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
What runs round a garden but never moves? A fence.
Spring is almost here. I’m so excited I wet my plants.
How do trees calculate a square root? They use a log-arithm.
What vegetable is always cold? A chilli.
I was offered a job as a gardener, but I didn’t take it because the celery was too low.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
What’s a gardener’s favourite Harrison Ford film? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
I asked the staff at my local garden centre what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens…
I hope these garden puns and garden jokes have made you giggle. If you’ve got any to share please add them in the comments!
More funny flower puns and flower jokes
If you’d like some more plant puns, check out my other post on flower puns and flower jokes.
More garden inspiration
For more gardening and flower inspiration you might like to take a look at these posts: