100 pizza jokes and pizza puns for cheesy laughs
Get ready to slice into some laughter! This collection of pizza jokes and puns is topped with cheesy goodness and guaranteed to deliver big smiles.
The best pizza jokes and pizza puns
Whether you’re a deep-dish devotee or a thin-crust fan, these pizza puns are perfect for sharing with friends, family, or anyone who loves a good laugh. So grab a slice, sit back, and enjoy some piping-hot humour!
Hilarious pizza jokes
I’m a little ambivalent about pizza. On the upside, it has some great toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business? Because they kneaded the dough.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today. Burned 2000 calories.
What did the pepperoni say to the chef? “You wanna pizza me?”
What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough.
I’ve been trying to write a new pizza joke… but I just can’t work out the delivery.
Did you hear about the pizza place on the moon? Great pizza, but no atmosphere.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation? The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
Why did the man slice his pizza with a smartphone? It’s cutting edge technology.
I asked the bank for a loan to open a “pizza delivery by drone” business. They refused – said my business case was just pie in the sky.
What do you call it when a pizza has a bad dream? A night-marinara.
Why didn’t the restaurant finish making the take-out pizza order? They ran out of thyme.
What’s the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad one? The delivery.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Oh never mind, it’s too cheesy!
More funny pizza jokes
What’s a pizza maker’s favourite song? “Slice, Slice Baby.”
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What does a pizza wear to smell good? Calzogne.
Why did the pizza start his own business? He wanted to make some dough.
Why did Jabba win the pizza contest? Because no one out-pizzas the Hutt.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy? “You don’t pepper-own me.”
And what did the delivery guy say in reply? “Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
Why didn’t the famous pizza want to go out? There were a lot of pepper-azzi.
Every time a new pizza delivery man comes to the door and notices the smell of the last pizza man, they storm off. It’s an unfortunate Domino effect.
How did the loaf of bread ask the pizza base out on a date? With a bunch of flours.
What do you call a pit stop that sells crab and pizza? A crust station.
What tops a plain pizza? Nothing.
Why do people like making lasagne from scratch at home? It’s pretty much a pizza cake.
If pizza could talk, what would it say? Probably lots of cheesy things. (more cheese jokes here)
Cheesy pizza jokes for kids
What do you call a sleeping pizza? Pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzza.
What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common? Doh.
What does Dr Who like to eat with his pizza? Dalek bread.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even.
What are you if can’t decide what kind of pizza to get? You’re inde-slice-sive.
What did the kid say after eating a frozen pizza? “Well, that wasn’t very thawed out.”
What’s a dog’s favourite kind of pizza? Pupperoni.
What did the pepperoni say to the cheese pizza? “Slice to meat you!”
What’s the difference between a freshly made pizza and a hungry tiger? One tastes delicious to you, and you taste delicious to the other one.
What does an anteater like on its pizza? Ant-chovies.
What do you call a fake pizza? A pepperphony pizza.
Cinderella got her name from having to clean the cinders from the fireplace. If instead she had to make pizzas, would her name be Mozzarella?
What shoes do pizzas wear? Yeastys.
How does a baby pizza look? A-dough-rable!
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties? Because he’s such a fungi.
Pizza dad jokes
I’m going to open a restaurant that only serves crabs and pizza. I’ll call it the Crust Station.
What did the Dalai Lama say when he walked into a pizza parlour? “Make me one with everything.”
I like how my local pizza place cuts my pizza into 6 slices instead of 8. I can’t finish 8 slices.
I got a new job delivering pizzas. Nobody really likes liver on pizza anyway.
Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes? Because they don’t cut corners.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today. The man who uncovered it said “It’s a pizza of our pasta.”
What’s a dad’s favourite type of pizza? Papa John’s.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth while eating his pizza? He ate it way before it was cool.
I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?” “No,” he said. “It’ll be round.”
What’s a pizza’s favourite movie? Pie Hard.
What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza? Papa Yawns Pizza.
What did the pastry chef say when the pizza chef asked him for help? “I cannoli do so much.”
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history.
What’s the difference between a distracted person and a pizza? One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.
Wood fired pizza? How’s pizza going to get a job now?
My local pizzeria has just made the world’s largest pizza base. I’d like to see someone top that.
Funny pizza puns
A pizza the action
You wanna pizza me?
It’s a pizza cake
You’re a real pizza work
A pizza the pie
How long is a pizza string?
I’ll give you a pizza my mind
You’ll always have a pizza my hut
I need some pizza mind
Don’t pizza-round the bush
In pizza we crust
I have crust issues
A breach of crust
My pizza skills are a little crusty
Crust me, I’m a pizza pro
Crust a matter of time
Crust around the corner
Crust do it
You can’t top that
For pizzake!
Cheese the day
Cheese Louise!
Set your mind at cheese
Easy cheesy
Cheesy does it
Cheesy peasy
A slice of the action
It’s the yeast I could do
Last, but not yeast
I a-dough you
What a weir-dough
Doughn’t fall for it
This is my dough-main
A friend in knead is a friend indeed
On a knead-to-know basis
Feeling a little kneady
Here today and gone tomato
Olive you so much
One last pizza pun…
What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes? Pizza jokes can’t be topped.
That’s a wrap on our pizza jokes! We hope they delivered plenty of laughs and cheesy fun.
Still craving more laughs? Check out these funny jokes for the whole family
Pin for later: best pizza jokes and pizza puns
