If you’re looking for tree jokes, tree puns, and tree proverbs, you’re in the right place.
I’ve rounded up a bumper list of one hundred tree jokes and puns about trees to get you giggling. They make really good tree captions for your nature photos on social media (check out my nature hashtags and tree quotes posts for those too), and you can also use them in school projects, greetings cards and texts. Or you could just have fun reading them!
Fantastic tree facts
Trees are amazing. Before we get started on the jokes, here are some fantastic facts about trees.
- Trees have been around on Earth for at least 370 million years.
- Trees provide food, shelter, fuel and building materials.
- Some types of tree can live for thousands of years.
- Trees act like the lungs of our planet, turning carbon dioxide into oxygen.
- Trees work together to ward off predators. They release chemical signals to deter pests, warn other trees about a threat, and attract predators that feed on the pests.
- There are 422 times more trees on earth than there are people.
- Trees can communicate with each other via an underground network of soil fungi – they can even send nutrients, water and unused carbon to each other!
- Leaves are lots of colours, including red, yellow, purple and orange, not just green. Chlorophyll makes leaves green and dominates until they get less sunshine, when the other colours start to take over.
- There are over 60,000 species of trees on our planet.
- Trees release chemicals called phytoncides, and research has shown that breathing these in can reduce blood pressure, lower anxiety levels and make us feel happier. It’s no wonder forest bathing is becoming increasingly popular, is it?
This short video explains forest bathing in more detail.
The best tree jokes and tree puns
So now we know just how incredible trees are, it’s time to appreciate them for their ability to make us laugh.
Read on for a whole host (or should that be forest?!) of family-friendly jokes on trees and tree puns. I’ve also included some great tree proverbs, which are perfect if you’d like something a little more meaningful that gets you thinking.
Funny tree jokes
Put a smile on your face with these funny – and sometimes rather silly – tree jokes.
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves? The outside.
What is every tree’s favourite shape? A tree-angle.
Why do trees hate riddles? Because they don’t like being stumped.
What type of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
Why are leaves always taking risks? Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
What did the tree say to the lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
How did the tree get lost? It took the wrong root.
Why are trees great at networking? Because they’re always branching out.
What type of fish falls from trees? Jel-leaf-ish.
Why did the tree fail maths? Because it couldn’t do square roots.
How do trees make themselves heard? Amp-leaf-ication.
What’s the same size and shape as a giant eucalyptus tree, but weighs nothing? It’s shadow.
What’s a tree’s favourite drink? Root beer.
Which dating app do trees use? Timber.
Why were lots of people sitting under the tree? It was poplar.
Where do woodlice go on holiday? To the beech.
What did the Jedi say to the tree? May the forest be with you.
How do you get down from a tree? You don’t – down comes from a duck.
What kind of stories do giant sequoia trees tell? Tall tales.
Why shouldn’t you invite a tree to a party? Because they never leaf.
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
What do you call an oak tree that can’t make it’s mind up? Undeciduous.
Did you know I can cut down a tree just by looking at it? It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
What gets a year older every time it rings? A tree.
Why do dogwood trees make good pets? Because they have a great bark, but wooden bite.
What happens when a tree falls into mud? It leafs an impression.
Why did the tree get into trouble? Because it was being knotty.
What looks like half a tree? The other half.
How do trees get in touch with each other. By teleafone.
What’s a tree’s least favourite month? Sep-timber.
Which tree likes high fives? A palm tree.
What do trees do on Valentine’s Day? They get sappy.
Which school subject do trees like best? Geome-tree.
What sound does a tree make? It barks.
What’s a tree’s favourite dinosaur? The Tree-Rex.
How many oranges grow on a tree? All of them.
What radio stations do trees like? Ones that play poplar songs.
Where do saplings go to learn? Elemen-tree school.
What’s the saddest tree? The weeping willow.
Why did the tree need to take a nap? For rest.
What do trees wear when it gets cold? Fir coats.
How do you make a tree laugh? Tell it acorn-y joke.
What did the tree like best about Star Trek? The Captain’s log.
Would you like a quick explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
Why was the tree stumped? Because it couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
Christmas tree jokes
Looking for jokes about trees with a festive theme? Here are my favourite Christmas tree jokes.
Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up.
What happens when Christmas trees go numb? They get pines and needles.
Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
Why was there ice cream under the Christmas tree? To go with the pine cones.
How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer? Decorate it with horn-aments.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
What do Christmas trees get when they’re ill? Tinselitis.
What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree? A faux fir.
Tree puns & forest puns
Take it or leaf it
Good things come in trees
I’m rooting for you
Wooden you think?
I don’t be-leaf it
The silent tree-tment
What a treet
A pine line
In grove danger
Call the copse
It’s very in-tree-guing
A quick re-treet
All very over-elming
The best I conifer
Take the short root
Bough to pressure
Tie the knot
It’s very poplar
Pine in the neck
What a re-leaf
Tree for all
The third book in the tree-logy
Buy one, get one tree
It’s a mys-tree
Barking up the wrong tree
Can’t see the wood for the trees
Get to the root of the problem
Going out on a limb
Knock on wood
Conker the opposition
Sleep like a log
Turn over a new leaf
Neck of the woods
Axe, and you shall receive
These tree puns may have made you groan, but admit it – you still smiled!
Tree proverbs & tree sayings
Proverbs are always brilliant pause for thought, and a nice starting point for a conversation. There are lots of tree sayings out there, here are twenty of my favourites.
The best trees grow on the steepest hills. – Burundi proverb
The tree of silence bears the fruits of peace. – Arabian proverb
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow. – English proverb
Men will only throw stones at trees that are laden with fruit. – French proverb
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. – Greek proverb
A seed hidden in the heart of an apple is an orchard invisible. – Welsh proverb
Little strokes fell great oaks. – American proverb
The taller the tree, the harder the fall. – Dutch proverb
When eating the fruit, think of the person who planted the tree. – Vietnamese proverb
If a dead tree falls, it carries with it a live one. – Kenyan proverb
Even the best tree sometimes has bad fruit. – Hungarian proverb
Don’t climb a tree to catch a fish. – Chinese proverb
An apple never falls far from the tree. – English proverb
The firm tree does not fear the storm. – Indonesian proverb
Though a tree grows ever so high, the falling leaves return to its roots. – Malawian proverb
In a tree that you can’t climb, there are always a thousand fruits. – Indian proverb
The one who plants the tree is not the one who will enjoy its shade. – Chinese proverb
Big trees cast more shadow than fruit. – German proverb
If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; if you want to be happy for life, plant a tree. – English proverb
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now. – Chinese proverb
Are your favourite tree jokes or funny tree puns missing from this list?
I hope these tree jokes, tree puns and tree proverbs have made you smile and got you thinking. If you’ve got a favourite that you think I need to add to this list, let me know in the comments 🙂
More funny jokes and puns
For more jokes and puns on a nature theme, you might like to take a look at these posts:
Pumpkin jokes and pumpkin puns (this one’s particularly good around Halloween)
More nature inspiration
If you love exploring nature and would like some more inspiration, there are lots of ideas in the exploring nature and craft sections of the blog. And finally, my book ‘A Year of Nature Craft & Play’ is packed with fun nature play activities, games and crafts for kids.
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